Tuesday, February 26, 2013

37 years young

Well it's official I am 36...no wait 37. How has a year already gone by?? I think I know more than I did this time last year so that's good. :) When I think back to Feb. 26th last year all I remember feeling was terribly pregnant, scared to add another child, and full of fear. I look back and want to kick my pregnant self because this has been one of THE BEST years of my life. I have said no to everything, and feel no guilt...which is a really big deal. I haven't put Brady in MDO or childcare much and can honestly say I have treasured this time with him (minus the teething), and enjoy our long days at home. Ally is thriving in Kindergarten and reading up a storm and Ryan is also learning so much academically this year. There has been a shift. It was slow but it's happened and I hope I never go back to my old selfish thoughts. I'm documenting these small victories here for my self this time next year. It's time I started celebrating growth and not dwell in the guilt that it's taken this long...amen??!! Here goes:

I try not to compare my children to others kids any more. I remember when Ryan was 10 months it was all about comparison and competition. I think I've finally learned that everyone is unique and my kid's not like yours. Small but powerful victory people!!

I'm fine wearing sweats most of the time. Not that I don't want to look nice on occasion but this season of life is about comfort and I could really care less about what I'm wearing these days.

I don't want to be involved in a million activities. This one has been the hardest to realize but it's true. I am VERY happy being a hermit at home. I am also thankful that my time with Zumba has come to an end. I knew that I needed to slow down for a while and now looking back on the stressful schedules, the amount of time preparing and planning for class, and the chaotic shuffling of the kids all seems silly. I know it wasn't silly and served a purpose but I am SO thankful for the rest.

I see the Lord's hand at work through our church and although the loss is enormous I'm excited for the future. We're clinging to scripture and counting on His promises.

I have enjoyed reading some again this year. I can really enjoy a good book without thinking that my 'valuable time' could have been spent more wisely.

I try not to take myself so seriously...yea! I am fully aware that I mess up everyday but am trying to do better and finally dive into some junk that I've been running from for years.

In a nutshell 36 to 37 has been great! It's not all been peachy but the good WAY outdoes the bad this year and that my friends is worth celebrating.

In fact I'm going to do just that. Cheers.


1 comment:

Jill said...

I really enjoyed this post. I feel guilty for holding my baby when he sleeps and not having the house perfect. I also compare myself to all the cutie moms that lost their baby weight 5 days later etc. sometimes I think Facebook and blogs are from the devil bc you compare your children to others And question your mothering skills all day. Thanks for this!